i am feeling sick... literally even as i type this. must have eaten something bad, cos i feel like vomiting.
that's physical. emotionally i feel a little distance from all things real. perhaps this is what surreal feels. physical pain does that to you — inhibits you from really feeling. but i guess emotional pain that does as well, and worse cos you never know where that pain can creep into and hide for the longest time in the psyche cos we're too afraid to feel it.
i've been emotionally traumatised lately — i knew that cos i distracted myself from sleep for three nights in a row playing games and watching serials. i did sleep but only moderately for six hours or so instead of the usual 8 or more. then becos i was a little sleep-deprived, i delved to find reasons.
the reasons were easy to find, though the pain was harder to avoid.
the pain creased through and i am the better for it. but i am feeling sick now.
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